Red Rocker: Vol.1-4 (less Vol.3)

Some photos of Tom Scott and his craft:

Tom is a surfer/shaper out of northern Oregon. He's been surfing cold-water point breaks and shaping boards in the NorthWest for decades.

I've been calling on his services during the last few years, and it's been a lot of fun working with him during that time.

Above (from left):

5'11" neo-fishy thruster (see another photo below, under 'The Grass...' post)

6'2" short-board for average beach-break conditions (shown above with Tom)

6'5" step-up thumb-tail for bigger days at point-breaks

(6'8" pin-tail -- not shown -- back at home during this road trip in May)

Evidently he was listening to Sammy Hagar when he was painting that first board. The name stuck. Rock on, Tom.

is anyone reading this?

Orange County

it is everything you image and more.

The Grass is Always Greener

Spring is a great season up here, the days are longer (yes, we've surpassed NorCal sunlight) and we get plenty of overhead swell and relatively benign winds (don't even get me started on summer). These pics are from Saturday: Jer behind the lens and John_B in the water. I wonder how much longer it will stay this uncrowded up here? Sometimes, I wonder why I want to leave? Then I miss a good day like this, 'stuck' 2 1/2 hrs. from the waves, having the time of my life with an awesome girl and great friends in an otherwise rad city. At that point, all I can do is bitterly concede that I would probably trade an empty line-up with my buddies a couple days a week, for getting to surf twice as often if it meant dealing with some level of crowd. I guess that's part of the habit; after years of chasing the dragon's tail, we develop a certain tolerance for stoke which defines the basic surfers' dilemma and defies all but the most temporary satisfaction. Old and grumpy here I come.

Epic March Swell - not in Cali

March Epic Swell - Coastalwatch from coastalwatch on Vimeo.

videos like this, remind me its time to get out of socal. Take note of the speed and distance traveled on the Kirra waves and of the ridiculous barrel that Bede gets about 3/4 the way through the video.

I've passed my third day wearing a mustache. It has been an interesting experiment so far. Have you always wanted to grow yours out, but haven't had the cajones to try a different look? Maybe you're thinking that an underground army of mustaches might be just the secret-hand-shake kind of protest against the corporate machine that could unite our brethren? Facial Hair meats Fight Club? Well, let me pass on some hard-earned insight (if you're already a misfit, this won't come as news). Basically, this is how it works: the first 24 hours are the hardest; after that initial introductory period when ugly girls and all but the gayest gay guys won't even give you a second look, you'll become more comfortable with your appearance and possibly begin to regain some of your previous confidence. If you have a girlfriend, do not expect her to find any humor in your antics. Trust me on that one, you are on your own and swimming upstream against possibly the biggest fashion faux pas you could hope to cross. No one said it would be easy. Personally, I'm not sure what to expect from here on out. I'm coming up on my first full weekend in the city as such. If anyone has any tips, bring them on. As far as I'm concerned, it could go either way. So stay tuned, there are only three short weeks until Chile. (Full disclaimer, I don't think anyone in Chile will care either)

What makes a spot secret?

Submitted for your consideration, two photos: one is a secret spot the other is not. Or at least that's my guess if I had to label them into such categories. What is your definition of a secret spot? One that hasn't been in the magazines? Somewhere that only 'locals' know about? I'm guessing no one reading this knows about either of the spots in these photos, so maybe they are both secrets. I don't know. Is a secret spot one that you can't see from a road? What do you think? What makes a spot secret? Or maybe, there simply is no such thing and we should all stop believing in the Easter Bunny?

iPhone 3.0 OS Guide: Everything You Need to Know

About fucking time, I cant wait to cut and paste.

• Copy & Paste text. When you double-tap over text, you will get a "cut, copy, and paste" bubble dialog. Double-tap again and a "paste" bubble will appear.....ooohhh

"He could be a genius"

Check out this unintentionally hilarious article on chimps' ability to plan ahead:



I quote:
A canny chimpanzee who calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage has confirmed that apes can plan ahead just like humans, a Swedish study said Monday. Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared.

...The 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said.

...individual differences are big among chimpanzees so the observation might not mean all chimpanzees are capable of the same planning.

"It could be that he is a genius, only more research will tell."

For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn't collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately decided to castrate him.

"It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings ... It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing," Osvath said. "It cannot be good to be so furious all the time."

Not sure if Santino the chimp is actually a genius if all he accomplished was getting his balls hacked off.

Chianti vs. Chowder

Back from a week in Italy. Cool place if you are into great wine & food, beautiful women, another level of ice-cream & espresso, soccer, and art & history. Otherwise, the trip confirmed what we all know is basically just another over-rated and expensive country on a crowded continent with an attitude (fair enough, the 10 course birthday meal washed down with a bottle of Barolo in a medieval wine cellar in Siena on Mardi Gras night was pretty memorable).

Here's one for posterity. This photo makes me want to laugh and cry all at once:
http://www.iwcoffice.org/sci_com/workshops/CLIMATEworkshop.htm

As if these trips aren't cruel enough, the next meeting is in Madeira in June. How's that? Obviously the people in charge are not surfers. Although while in Italy, I did get to hear some funny stories about Dave Rastovich showing up at last year's Whaling Commission meeting in Santiago with mermaid-model wife in tow (of course I miss the one meeting with hot wives and waves). After demonstrating his anti-whaling protests to the Japanese delegates (something in there about his wife wearing an aquatic tail and little else, while being paraded through the room on a table hoisted up on Rasta et al's shoulders), he invited some Aussie scientist/surfers to charge a crazy nearby slab with him. Some guys have all the luck.

Back in Seattle, I managed to set a record for the month of February with 5 hours sleep. Glorious. Then up early, and wasting no time, headed out to Westport with Jer and scored some fun overhead waves. I was thanking my lucky stars that it wasn't huge and managed to do OK out there for the first hour, but then the jet-lag and everything else caught-up, and the wheels fell (flew?) off. Did I mention that I grabbed two left booties in the dark on the way out the door? That didn't help my cause either. The bottom line is, if you aren't catching waves up here this time of year, it doesn't take long to get cold. So I proceeded to get really fucking cold. So cold and exhausted by the end that I was forced to concede that I could no longer get to my feet (much less feel anything below my knees, or my two left feet) and rode my last wave to the beach on my belly. This act would have been more embarrassing if not for the other 95% of people in these parts that also 'surf' in this position.

Lucky for me and my encroaching hypothermia; hot clam chowder and whiskey are to the PacNW what chianti and prosciutto are to Tuscany. Nothing against the latter, but I'll take the cold waves and the chowder anytime.

Giant Tiger caught at Teahupo’o

One of the world’s scariest waves just got scarier. Last week, while clearing Crown of Thorns starfish off the reef, two brothers found a massive Tiger Shark caught in their nets. The shark weighed well over a ton, and took the fisherman two and half hours to get onto their boat.

Surfers making the 300 meter paddle out to the takeoff zone will have something else to think about.

heres the pic...

matt costa and lewis separated at birth or just fellow jews?

while at the matt costa show last night i got to thinking...

"crazy relationships!"

So I read this article this morning, and started thinking about crazy relationships...I'm sure everyone here knows someone who has dated a stalker, controller, jealous freak or someone who has been in an unhealthy place. Hell, my ex tracked me to my Bolinas hide-out and found my car hidden deep in a Eucalyptus grove 1 mile away. But nothing I have heard is as fucked up or twisted as this.

"STAMFORD, Conn. – Travis the chimpanzee's relationship with his owner, a lonely widow, was closer than those of some married couples. She gave him the finest food, and wine in long-stemmed glasses. They took baths together and cuddled in the bed they shared. Travis brushed Herold's hair each night and pined for her when she was away. If she left the house alone, Travis would give her a kiss. "If I left with someone Travis would get upset," Herold said Wednesday."

"If there is another person entering his space, he might consider it a threat to his territory, or even his mate," Tello said.

Makato steer clear of women with Baggage!


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090220/ap_on_re_/chimpanzee_attack;_ylt=AtZydI_OL_D3NYJcmd114D0DW7oF

The Opposite Problem

The grass is always greener. I can only dream of losing hair. Instead more hair appears each day. Hair in my ears, hair in my nose... I found a mutant nipple hair the other day that was longer than Ron Jeremy's schlong and thick enough to be used as a leash string.

By age 50 Ryan may be pulling a Kelly Slater, but I'll look like this:

At least I'm still surfing at 50...

I'm losing it!

After a fantastic weekend in the snow, many fine memories linger in my mind: great friendships, fine food, beautiful California, losing my hair...I know there are so many less fortunate people in the world and I should be feeling like the luckiest man on earth to have my health and happiness; which I do! However, as time rolls by so does the water off my soon to be hairless dome! I find myself wearing beanies whenever possible to hide the 'male pattern baldness' i've adopted from my creators. Some small children might even assume that such woolen hats are attached permanently to my scalp. So what the hell? what is this phenomenon that occurs in so many unlucky dudes like myself?

"Baldness involves the state of lacking hair where it often grows, especially on the head. The most common form of baldness is a progressive hair thinning condition called androgenic alopecia or "male pattern baldness" that occurs in adult male humans and other species. The amount and patterns of baldness can vary greatly; it ranges from male and female pattern alopecia (androgenic alopecia, also called androgenetic alopecia or alopecia androgenetica), alopecia areata, which involves the loss of some of the hair from the head, and alopecia totalis, which involves the loss of all head hair, to the most extreme form, alopecia universalis, which involves the loss of all hair from the head and the body."

Okay fair enough...now what to do about it? Well not many easy solutions in my case as my ailment is occuring at the front of my cabeza, which is the most difficult area to regrow hair, or stop hair loss. Drugs like Propecia and Minoxidil might have some benefits, but then I run the risk of not being able to get a hard on, and/or developing man boobs!! along with a little itching, rash, and testicular pain...

Other options include surgery of some fashion, transplant! Maybe that's what I should do, shave my ass and plant seeds into my temples.

"A hair transplant procedure always begins with your own healthy donor hair. Really, hair transplant surgery is just a simple matter of hair distribution. This donor hair is located on the sides and back of the head and is naturally resistant to balding, allowing it to continue to grow throughout your lifetime. Most men suffering from standard male pattern baldness will have a healthy donor area with plenty of viable hairs for the transplant surgery. However, if your hair loss is not hereditary and is caused by other conditions such as stress or medication, you will want to see a dermatologist first before attending a hair transplant consultation.In follicular unit hair transplantations, a small section of tissue is removed from the donor area and is broken down for surgery under intense magnification. This is where modern hair transplant surgeons show their true artistry."

Artistry?? Maybe instead of worrying about it, i'm meant to head down this amazing artistic career path; make a name for myself as one of the best cut and pasters in the business.

I guess for now, i'll just keep building the beanie/hat collection, and keep giving myself shaved home haircuts. I'll continue to look up to Terry Bradshaw, Gallagher and Slater as role models for the receding race! Thanks boys for your inspiration.

HURRAY!

Hilarious. Been gone for a while...

In reverse chronological order, here are a few things I down with: SSWWWWEEEEEEEEEEETTT. The King is back, the King never left, the King (insert something here), Long Live the King. Reliving our youth. Old-time dick locals. The guy in the Tron suit. Working in a trailer with a very hot blonde (no mater how respectable, it sounds pornographic.)

Things I not down with (in a light, rose (accent aigu), Lancers kind of way): Banning my brother from the Orphans Forum (manage the team, motivate them, develop their skills... then throw them under the bus). My brother blogging export settings (unless I happen to need them.) The semi-colon between 'War Escalates' and 'Makoto Banned' - it should be a dash. The two state solution. Sabbath elevators in hospitals.



Some new things in my life since I've been gone:

Two new Xerox team members.

(Sorry... this image removed because of a complaint lodged by someone looking over my shoulder. See how a one state solution is the only answer?)

One compact washing machine (9 29/32" (h) x 17 19/32" (w) x 17 1/4" (d)).


One totally over-designed stroller.


One baby girl (mine).


You don't mind if I blog baby pictures, do you? Hurray!

Red Eyes, Swollen Livers, Dull Edges

The player named after a type of beef goes off for 61, Lebron follows with a triple double while scoring over 50 points what do they have in common with me you might ask? Well, snce you asked, the still can't unseat me as the King.
14 days of travel, 6 days of skiing, 1 powder day, 2500 miles traveled, 8 days of tradeshows, over 100 cocktails consumed.

SLC RECAP: arrive in the mormon motherland and quickly head for the hills. the stench over the town for the entirety of my stay left a metallic drip in the back of your throat and eyes so red you looked like a refugee from a snoop dog show. Driving up to the mountains the road signs did not tell tales of stolen kids or heinous traffic, rather they told of hazardous air warnings, red flag. The inversion over the puss hole regional capital of western jesus land was so bad as to make it the reported "worst air in the world" for most of the time i was there. That was a comforting thought.
Up in the mountains though the air was fresh but the snow wasn't. groomer, groomer, groomer, beer was the melodic pattern i followed for the first 5 days. Then down to the show. The show was was it always is except for the incredible sight of post modern granola crunching d bags from the south east skating through the aisles on their 4 foot longboard skateboards complete with wooded and rubber "paddle" for pushing themselves down the street. imagine pleasure point at 2 feet with 20 paddleboarders out, then replace the water with concrete. SSWWWWEEEEEEEEEEETTT.
Wrap up the show, hit solitude for a nice pow day complete with new entropy skis and 1000 steps of hiking for fresh, and i wasnt so pissed to be in Utard after all.
Vegas Recap: The SIA show is ASR on steroids. Something happens to 19 year old new school jibbers from socal when they hit sin city. Shit, something happens to 34 year old old school skiers from nocal when they hit the strip. How can i describe 5 nights in vegas with an expense account, weed, whores, gambling, and free booze in a short period of time so as not to bore all of you out in blog land?
Start drinking at 2pm with beers and some purple drink from the rome booth. 4pm hit metallica cover band at helly hansen and more beers, 6pm go to mix master mike and add more booze, 7pm go to ice bar and start downing free vodka and energy drink, 8pm start to stagger, 9pm lose suneil and desi for good but hook up with random bros from montana/tahoe/industry who you havent seen in years, 10 pm hit tables and maybe grab some food, 12 am hit the clubs, 2am really start drinking, and 5 am come home wasted. now multiply that times 5 and you have some idea of what it is like.
Fly home to sfo on friday night and dont move from the beach for 2 days, and have a total of 3 beers while watching the superbowl when your team wins it. Give up alcohol for february.
The King is back, the King never left, the King will be alcohol free riding at Kirkwood on Sat and jibbing some fresh backcountry lines on sunday. Long Live the King.

Christine's Send Off Party

In an effort to relive our youth and also have some fun, I propose a proper Mexican send off to Lewis's beloved wagon. We all know the great stories that Christine has provided and this may contribute to Lewis's reluctance to part with the vehicle, but the question over what to do with Christine is a no brainer.

Christine needs to be prepped and serviced so that she can deliver us to Pascuales prior to her collapse. Who is up a for a March spring break trip?

Tahoe Update

The Orphans Forum crew are having their annual leadership retreat in Tahoe.
Former Forum regular Makoto Agnoli was kind enough to host us in the Alpine Cabin.

Makoto's also been documenting the weekend, but now that he's no longer a contributor I've been forced to shamelessly leverage his content.

So instead of 75 photos and 2 incoherent sentences, you get the following, pulled from the Agnoli Posterous: