After a fantastic weekend in the snow, many fine memories linger in my mind: great friendships, fine food, beautiful California, losing my hair...I know there are so many less fortunate people in the world and I should be feeling like the luckiest man on earth to have my health and happiness; which I do! However, as time rolls by so does the water off my soon to be hairless dome! I find myself wearing beanies whenever possible to hide the 'male pattern baldness' i've adopted from my creators. Some small children might even assume that such woolen hats are attached permanently to my scalp. So what the hell? what is this phenomenon that occurs in so many unlucky dudes like myself?
"Baldness involves the state of lacking hair where it often grows, especially on the head. The most common form of baldness is a progressive hair thinning condition called androgenic alopecia or "male pattern baldness" that occurs in adult male humans and other species. The amount and patterns of baldness can vary greatly; it ranges from male and female pattern alopecia (androgenic alopecia, also called androgenetic alopecia or alopecia androgenetica), alopecia areata, which involves the loss of some of the hair from the head, and alopecia totalis, which involves the loss of all head hair, to the most extreme form, alopecia universalis, which involves the loss of all hair from the head and the body."
Okay fair enough...now what to do about it? Well not many easy solutions in my case as my ailment is occuring at the front of my cabeza, which is the most difficult area to regrow hair, or stop hair loss. Drugs like Propecia and Minoxidil might have some benefits, but then I run the risk of not being able to get a hard on, and/or developing man boobs!! along with a little itching, rash, and testicular pain...
Other options include surgery of some fashion, transplant! Maybe that's what I should do, shave my ass and plant seeds into my temples.
"A hair transplant procedure always begins with your own healthy donor hair. Really, hair transplant surgery is just a simple matter of hair distribution. This donor hair is located on the sides and back of the head and is naturally resistant to balding, allowing it to continue to grow throughout your lifetime. Most men suffering from standard male pattern baldness will have a healthy donor area with plenty of viable hairs for the transplant surgery. However, if your hair loss is not hereditary and is caused by other conditions such as stress or medication, you will want to see a dermatologist first before attending a hair transplant consultation.In follicular unit hair transplantations, a small section of tissue is removed from the donor area and is broken down for surgery under intense magnification. This is where modern hair transplant surgeons show their true artistry."
Artistry?? Maybe instead of worrying about it, i'm meant to head down this amazing artistic career path; make a name for myself as one of the best cut and pasters in the business.
I guess for now, i'll just keep building the beanie/hat collection, and keep giving myself shaved home haircuts. I'll continue to look up to Terry Bradshaw, Gallagher and Slater as role models for the receding race! Thanks boys for your inspiration.
